Nursing Quirks at Home

I was sitting around the house the other day, when for the umpteenth time, I shouted at the TV. No, I was not watching a sports game.

I was watching someone do a horrible job at CPR!

I realized – nurses have some interesting perspectives when it comes to day-to-day activities at home! Here are a few:

1. Correcting The TV: When you watch TV with a nurse, be prepared for us to wildly burst out something along the lines of “They’re not even doing it right! Look at those compressions! Her elbows are bent, for god’s sake!” or, “Ha! You’d never see a doctor doing that in real life.” For some reason, after years – decades – of shows taking place in a medical setting, they still can’t get the details right.

2. Comparing Family Members to Patients: Ever said something like this? “I Deal with Neediness All Day at Work – I Don’t Want To Hear It At Home!” Sounds mean – but when you’ve been answering call lights all day, the last thing you want is a ‘fetch that for me will you’ request, or whining in any form.

3. Quarantining your Scrubs “Don’t Touch Those Scrubs – I Haven’t Washed Them Yet!” They are contaminated with facility germs. Utterly unclean. They go right into the washing machine as soon as you walk through that door.

4. Feeling Gross After Work “[Coming Home From Work] I NEED A Shower – Right Now!” After you take off your scrubs, it’s only natural to scrub yourself down! After all the grimy nastiness of the day, there’s no way you can ever feel clean again until after a good wash.

5. Topping Everyone’s Gross-out Stories “That’s Nothing! One Time At Work…” Everyone knows us nurses have the best gross-out stories. Don’t ever complain about changing baby diapers around a nurse. Don’t ever complain about scooping cat litter. Don’t complain at all, because every nurse will laugh at you and tell you something about a hundred times worse.

6. Liberal Use of Alcohol Pads. Do you have alcohol pads laying around everywhere? Sometimes it’s hard not to bring home these useful little things, or even go and buy them at the store. Everything they touch just feels cleaner! I use them to wipe screens on my phone and keyboards, knobs, and other places where fingertips frequently touch.