45 Things Nurses Lie About

Nurses are generally an honest group of people, but sometimes we tell little white lies to make the patient’s experience a bit smoother. Here is a list of common tales we tell to patients, coworkers, and management to ease the stresses of nursing work.

You will only feel a little pressure.

The doctor will be in to see you in a minute.

I only need a few tubes of blood.

All of these tests are absolutely necessary.

I’m sure the doctor will be happy to give you more pain medicine.

Everything is going to be okay.

I’ll be back in five minutes.

If you need anything, ring you bell and someone will be in shortly.

The food here is great.

You will probably get to go home tomorrow.

I don’t remember how to change a colostomy bag. Could you help me?

I have tons of time to chart on my shift.

It’s so convenient using computers to chart in the room.

Pharmacy will be sure to send that medication up immediately.

There is a nursing shortage.

It’s okay that we are working understaffed tonight.

Everyone here is a team player.

Nurse bullying doesn’t exist on this unit.

Prepping for a colonoscopy isn’t so bad.

You need to be on fall precautions because you meet the criteria.

No, you don’t need to move. I can reach over you.

Yes, I would love to work on my day off.

That wound is starting to look good.

I can’t clean that up because housekeeping has to.

I’m not stressed at all tonight.

Physical therapy is very likely to help you get rid of most of your pain.

Tylenol is one of the best pain relievers there is.

I don’t mind if you are on your cell phone.

It’s okay to have six visitors in your semi-private room.

I miss the old style nursing uniforms.

Nursing school taught me all I needed to know about nursing.

Working only three days per week for 12 hours isn’t so bad.

I don’t mind doing my part and working every other holiday.

I like wearing scrubs. They are like pajamas.

Crocs look good on me.

I would love to stay after my shift to help out.

I didn’t need to eat during my shift. I wasn’t hungry.

Doctors are professional and receptive to phone calls, especially in the middle of the night.

All doctors treat nurses with respect.

Nurses get all the respect they deserve.

Nursing pays very well.

I don’t need to sit down to chart.

Sure, you can interrupt me during med pass.

Code blue situations are a rush that I love.

ACLS is easy, and I wish we were certified every year.

Some of these are obviously tongue in cheek and meant to be funny, because you can’t lie about many things as a nurse. In some cases, though, don’t you wish you could say these things to patients, coworkers, or doctors and really mean it?If you’ve ever told a white lie – or a huge lie – to someone during the course of your practice, let us know in the comments. Don’t be shy because we are only human and sometimes lies are easier to tell than the unvarnished truth.